Gilmore Girls Project: Season Five, Blame Booze and Melville

Season Five

Episode One Hundred Eight: “Blame Booze and Melville”

Original Airdate: May 10, 2005

Sookie is surprised when her baby arrives early. Emily is surprised by an interview about the Dragonfly. Luke is surprised when he’s outbid on the Twickham house, and Rory is surprised by her performance review.

One thing that has always bugged me is who are the elders of Stars Hollow, otherwise known as “the powers that be” according to Taylor in this town? I mean, isn’t Taylor head honcho? Is he not? And who was the one who was sitting in a corner with his head covered with a towel? If these guys are so important why are they only both mentioned or in one episode in all the 157 episodes?

Okay, with that out of the way, moving on . . .

I think that the whole Mitchum and Rory thing was just bad. First, she did more than just do assistant work while she was there and it wasn’t like he was watching her 24/7. How the heck does he know what she’d done or hasn’t done? Not to mention, I’ve never like how she reacts. I mean, does she think THAT little of her self and her abilities to take ONE MAN’S opinion? Come on. If that’s the case, then he’s right, she won’t make it. If I stopped writing books every time I got a bad review from some keyboard warrior who couldn’t write a book to save their life, but find it their job in life to just be a asshat to authors, then where would I be? That’s just stupid.

She should have thanked him for his opinion and gone about her day. But the fact that she falls apart the way she does just proves that Lorelai did a crappy job at preparing her for the real world where people don’t always have the nicest things to say but you give them a big middle finger and keep doing what you’re doing—especially if it’s doing something you love. I mean, doesn’t Lorelai do that? Why can’t Rory?

Funny Quotes:

LUKE: I want to get a bunch, though. Frame one or two of them. How’s the article? What’s it say?
LORELAI: It was then, sadly, that I discovered Luke could not read.
LUKE: You know what I mean.
LORELAI: People are going to think I wrote it. I mean, it’s big. I nearly cried when I read it.
LUKE: Good.
LORELAI: And the fact that when Emily Gilmore reads it, she’s going to hire men to attack me with tire irons, well, that’s something else altogether.
LUKE: What’d they put in?
LORELAI: Not every heinous thing I said about her, but enough. I mean, it’s good stuff, it’s funny. Maybe if I just told them not the face.

[He walks over to Kirk’s table.]
KIRK: Sally Forth is on fire today. On fire!
LUKE: Where did you get a quarter of a million dollars!
KIRK: What? I don’t have a quarter of a million dollars.
LUKE: You don’t?
KIRK: No. Just shy. It’s $247, 868. Sixty-seven, if I get a couple of donuts to go. Those chocolate raised are calling my name.
LUKE: Where the hell did you get that much money?
KIRK: I’ve been working for eleven years, Luke. I’ve had fifteen thousand jobs. I’ve saved every dollar I’ve ever made. That and the miracle of compound interest has created a bounty of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, just under. I don’t want to brag.

LORELAI: What happened to Paola?
EMILY: Oh, that annoying little stick? She drove me crazy.
LORELAI: Hm. You loved her.
EMILY: There was something wrong with her. So flighty, so skinny. She made no noise when she walked, so you couldn’t hear her coming. I felt like I was being stalked by an elf.
[The maid quietly walks up beside Lorelai and takes her coat.]
LORELAI: Thank you.
EMILY: She had the mentality of a preschooler. If she was sitting when she laughed, she would clap her feet together. Smoked like a fiend, too.
LORELAI: Uh-huh.
EMILY: And she kept playing with that obnoxious magic eight ball of yours. She’d ask it the same question over and over until she got the answer she wanted. I told her that’s not how it works. You’re supposed to accept the first answer it gives you and that’s that, but no. She kept going. I wanted to stick the little twig in the garbage disposal. So I exchanged her for Mikhail.
LORELAI: Really? You can do that, just trade her in for another human being?
EMILY: I paid for her, Lorelai, and she wasn’t what I wanted.
LORELAI: All right.


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