Episode One Hundred Forty-Four: “I’d Rather Be in Philadelphia”
Original Airdate: February 6, 2007
After Richard’s heart attack, Lorelai, Rory, and Emily anxiously await news in the hospital waiting room. Then Logan arrives. Then Luke. But—despite frantic repeated phone calls from Lorelai—not Christopher.
There are times when I like Christopher. Then there are times I think he acts like a toddler having a temper tantrum. This episode is one of the latter. He is such an a$$hat sometimes, and giving her the cold shoulder, silent treatment when her father just had a heart attack and is in the hospital? Dude. Ugh. And then he’s a jerk to Luke about being there. I just want to jump through the TV and smack him.
Here comes Luke, though. Just being there like he always is with not only the offer to help, but food. Tons of food.
And same with Logan.
EMILY: I mean even at the club, I’m tell you the young men and women that work there must have a combined I.Q. Of a grapefruit. You ask them for a towel, and they look at you with the most vacant eyes. I’m telling you I thought the girl at reception was blind the entire first month she worked there – blind but very enthusiastic about the application of eyeliner.
LORELAI: Sounds pretty.
EMILY: My husband has a heart attack, and how long does it take them to find me? 40 minutes. The nitwit probably got lost between the front desk and the tennis courts.
RORY: I’m sorry grandma that sounds terrible.
EMILY: I mean none of this would have been a problem if I’d been allowed to keep my cell phone. But no cell phones have been banned allegedly because of noise pollution. Well if that’s the reason, they should ban John Abbott. Because I’m telling you every time that man hits a ball, he grunts like a rutting hog. [The girls look amused] I mean he’s twice as loud as my cell phone. And they won’t even let you leave your cell phone on vibrate, it preposterous. I mean what do they think we’re doing, making drug deals?
LORELAI: I doubt that’s it.
EMILY: Which, by the way, are absolutely, 100% taking place. I saw Devorah Inwood handing Cardum Kelly a small, blue pill in the ladies’ locker room while they made shady eyes at each other.
LORELAI: Drug deals at the club? Mum I don’t think so.
EMILY: Absolutely. The whole place is going to the dogs. Oh, and now apparently they want to start charging us for meals, on top of the king’s ransom in dues. It’s appalling. I mean the very idea of charging extra for the junk they serve there. Oh, and you know what really irks me?
EMILY: They very rarely serve fish.
LOGAN: Salmon, Swordfish, King Mackerel, Tuna downstairs. Trout, sea bass, snapper, Bluefish upstairs. If you rode in the ambulance, you and I don’t have a car here.
LORELAI: Oh take it before I change my mind. [Hands Rory the Jeeps keys] Level 3.
RORY: Thanks. Bye.
LORELAI: Bye. I’ll be here doing my job.
RORY: How come you don’t have a car?
LOGAN: Well I came by chopper.
RORY: Chopper motorcycle or chopper helicopter?
RORY: You came here in a helicopter?