Gilmore Girls Project: Season Five, Wedding Bell Blues

Season Five

Episode One Hundred: “Wedding Bell Blues”

Original Airdate: February 9, 2005

That whoosh you hear is the air rushing out of the Luke-Lorelai romance. Richard and Emily’s elegant recommitment ceremony ends with Logan and Rory in dishabille, people shouting, and Luke gone.

I seriously wish I could eat like Lorelai and Rory and not gain any weight. Waffles, donuts, pizza, tater tots, poptarts, the list goes on and one.

So, I don’t really have much to say about this episode. Only because I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love seeing a pretty wedding and the bachelorette party scene with a drunk Emily is funny. But this episode just really showcases how selfish and pompous Emily really is. Especially with how she treats Luke. Good grief. I swear, I wish we had the drunk Emily back.

And then there is Christopher at the wedding. Could there be any more problems and drama in one episode? Not to mention, Luke snaps and that’s it. Cue in the worst thing ever—the Luke and Lorelai break-up. Gasp.

Sometimes Christopher really chaps my hide. I mean, he just can be selfish. Drive me nuts. Another thing I don’t get is Lorelai chased after Luke but doesn’t call after him and she loses him so quick. I’ve also never liked how she says nothing to Christopher to stop him from what he’s saying. Nor does she tell Christopher he’s wrong. She just stands there and lets him say all those things. No wonder Luke is mad.

 

Funny Quotes:

EMILY: Do you have anything to drink?
LORELAI: No, no, Mom, why are you taking off your coat?
EMILY: Some wine, or some chilled vodka, perhaps?
LORELAI: Yeah, but you might want to hold off on having a drink, Mom, ’cause you’re going to be driving in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.
EMILY: Well, I could use a little something. Calm my nerves about this wedding planner I hired.
LORELAI: I’m sure everything’s going to be fine.
EMILY: I don’t see how it can be, everything is so last minute, and I didn’t even get a decent rehearsal!
LORELAI: Mom, I promise you, I have successfully walked in a straight line at least once before. I can get you the cop’s name if you want to talk to him.

EMILY: Utter disaster. That moronic wedding planner finally fulfilled her potential. I get here and I go through my seating chart, and it’s a mess. It looked like a drunken psychopath took a stab at it. I had to re-do the entire thing. It took me two hours and years off my life.
LORELAI: Maybe she just got confused.
EMILY: She did get confused. Confused about what her profession should be. Anyway, I fired her. That should help clarify things for her.
RORY: Third realm of hell, party of one.

MARILYN: Oh, wasn’t the ceremony perfect? The candles and that judge. I should have married him. I was such a snob, I wouldn’t have a civil servant. [To Luke] You’re saving a dance for me. [She leaves.]
LUKE: Oh my God, there’s dancing?
LORELAI: Yeah. We’re doing the one from Pulp Fiction. Do you want to be Uma, or should I?

LORELAI: Hey, I need you to run major introduction interference for me.
LUKE: What?
LORELAI: Well, you have the advantage. No one knows you here, you can’t insult them by forgetting their names. [To the bartender] Vodka tonic.
LUKE: And a beer.
LORELAI: Someone comes up, I’ll take a drink. My mouth will be full, I can’t talk. How would that look, right? Then you jump in, offer your hand. [In a deep, “man” voice] ‘Hi, Luke Danes. And you are?’ ‘I’m Mr. Blockenfeffer.’ By then I will have swallowed. ‘Oh hi, Mr. Blockenfeffer, I’m Lorelai, remember me?’ ‘The bane of your mother’s existence?’ ‘Exactly. Nice to see you again.’ ‘Nice to see you again. And nice to meet you, Luke.’ ‘Nice to meet you, Mr. Blockenfeffer.’ ‘You kids have a lovely evening.’ ‘No, you have a lovely evening. Our love to Mrs. Blockenfeffer.’

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