Gilmore Girls Project: Season Four, Die, Jerk

Season Four

Episode Seventy-Three: “Die, Jerk”

Original Airdate: November 11, 2003

En Pointe and in print. To get a story published in the school newspaper, Rory blasts the Yale ballet . . . and earns the lead ballerina’s wrath. Jason finagles an invitation to the Gilmore’s Friday dinner.

UGH!!! Nicole is back. Double UUGGHH!! And yes, I know she actually came back in the last episode, but now she’s really back. And no, Luke, she isn’t nice and she doesn’t like Lorelai.

Aside from that though, at least little Davey is finally here!! Yay! Even though I don’t think they ever actually show him. Oh, wait, they do. For a few seconds.

So I do love having Gil in the show, but I do miss Dave.

Moving on to the crux of the episode–Rory’s article. I wondered if I could find it on the ballet online, like perhaps someone had written it as a prop, so I checked. I didn’t find it, however, I did find a bunch of blogs talking about how awful Rory was in this episode for fat shaming the ballerina. Ugh. It’s a TV show for corn’s sake, and one that was made 20 years ago. Does that make it right? No. But humor was different back then because we didn’t have a whole bunch of people in this world that get butt hurt and offended at the drop of a hat. Not to mention, so this girl is mad someone said she can’t dance, so she thinks it acceptable to tell them she hopes they die? Like seriously? And people are mad over the fat shaming instead of that? I need to quit before I go off on a rant . . .

BTW, do you want to watch a show that really pokes fun at controversial stuff? Watch The Office. Love that show. So frickin’ funny. But so wouldn’t be able to be on the air in today’s society.

But back to this episode. Even more UGH than Nicole is the return of Digger and him worming his way into a Friday night dinner. Why, oh why, do I have to suffer through the episodes with his character? Can he just go away now? He’s nothing but a slimy little rat, pushing his way into everything like the business and then Lorelai’s life. Then when he finally gets in, we find out he’s the oddest person alive and messes everything up by being shady. Of course. Typical slimy rat.

So what did you think of this episode?


Funny Quotes:

RORY: Oh, I’ve always wanted to see the Atlantic City boardwalk.
EMILY: I’ll save you a trip. Tip an overflowing trash can on your front porch and walk up and down on it.
RICHARD: It was actually quite a successful outing. Maybe not to our taste, but the clients loved it.
EMILY: The clients were too plastered to know better.
LORELAI: Kind of the point.
EMILY: Two of them stayed up all night and smelled like it.
RICHARD: That was a tad gross.
EMILY: One of them – a married man – had a long conversation with. . .how shall I put this delicately? A woman of less than reputable nature.
LORELAI: Hm. Do hookers charge to let you talk to them?
RORY: Depends on what they’re doing when they’re talking to you.
EMILY: Rory!
RORY: Sorry.
EMILY: I expect that from your mother, but not you.
RORY: Just a joke.
LORELAI: Yeah, Mom, Yale is broadening her world view.

LORELAI: You know, Bruce, I didn’t get a chance to tell you how impressed I was by the home birth. It was just amazing to watch and very, very special.
BRUCE: Did you talk baby talk to Davey?
BRUCE: Every second Davey’s brain is hard-wiring for life. Baby talk can retard his language-acquisition rate. Is that what you want?
LORELAI: Definitely not. I want him fully tarded.

RORY: Hopefully, there will be plenty of well-paid, full-time lacrosse-writing positions for me at the major news organizations.
LORELAI: You need chocolate.
RORY: Chocolate and talent.
LORELAI: Stop that.
RORY: Maybe I’m just not cut out for college journalism. Maybe I peaked in high school. Aw, man, that’s a depressing thought.

LORELAI: All ballet people do is ballet. If she has no friends in the ballet, she has no friends. Holy moly.
RORY: I wonder how many times I can use the word “blows” in an article before it becomes redundant.

RORY: Let’s not make each other feel bad.
PARIS: Hey, hug a dolphin another day, all right? We need to rev up the gunships and retaliate before the next strike. We gotta go full-out Sharon.
RORY: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
TANNA: There’s gonna be another strike?
PARIS: You wanna wait to find out? Now, first, we should each make a list of the people we’ve made enemies of, starting with most recent and working our way back.
TANNA: Can’t we just let this go?
JANET: It may just be a joke.
PARIS: I’m not laughing. Anyone here laughing?
TANNA: I guess it is vandalism.
PARIS: It’s more than that. This is an assault that should be met head-on using extreme prejudice. Now let’s face it, I’m the most likely target, so I’ve already made up a list of enemies, which I’ve narrowed down from twenty-six to five.
JANET: Just at Yale?
PARIS: Just in this building.

ANDRA: Rory Gilmore?
RORY: Yeah?
SANDRA: Remember me?
RORY: I don’t think so.
SANDRA: That’s very flattering.
RORY: Can I help you?
SANDRA: Let’s see if this jogs your memory. I have the grace of a drunken dock worker?

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