“Do you ever feel you’ve become the worst version of yourself?”
No? I guess it must be just me then.
About a month ago, I woke up one morning and I just knew I needed to “RESET MYSELF”. I’d had a pretty stressful and hurtful week before, and I knew that if I didn’t change not only my outlook on certain situations, but also on how I spend my writing time, I was headed down a slippery slope toward hanging up my career.
Yes, you read that right. I was thinking about saying good-bye to my novels, both past and future, and quitting.
Suddenly, writing and being an author just didn’t seem worth all the frustration and hurt feelings I’ve faced over the years, and my mind traveled toward the idea of not writing anymore novels, taking the already published ones off the market, and walking away without ever looking back.
What could possibly make a writer quit? Especially, this writer who loves it so much?
Lots of things, actually, and they all had stacked themselves into this mile high wall that I hit with a devastating crash going about 200mph without a seatbelt on in the matter of just a couple of days.
As I laid in bed the next morning, thinking about what had happened, I realized that in preparing for a novel release, all the editing and reading it time and time again, then gearing up for the release and hosting the party, and then sending out reviews and doing all sorts of other promotion, including hosting other authors, joining and participating in several blog hops (which after June, I’m taking a few months off from doing), and spending every extra minute on social media, not only took the wind out of my sails when it comes to my writing, but it turned me into someone I didn’t know.
Basically, I lost the answer to the question: “Why did I start writing?”
Like POOF everything in and about me just suddenly vanished.
I got sucked into a world focused around how many sales I’ve made, or a lack thereof, and how my novel was doing against other novels. Novels that weren’t even in my genre. It wasn’t just about the joy of getting this novel on the market so that people could enjoy it anymore. Nor was it about sharing Ava and Craig’s story. It was all about numbers and who didn’t share my wonderful news and who acted as though they didn’t even care.
I knew then that it was time to get back to the author I was before I was taken over by this “release demon”. I needed to wade through this cloud and once again dwell in the joy of writing and the utter blissful feeling that comes when I stretch my mind and fingers.
While I thought of this, I also realized that I hadn’t written a blog post in months. Instead, I relied on announcements for RONE, teasers from my new release, blog hops, and guest posts to fill the space every Monday and Friday. I didn’t write any opinion pieces on writing or farming or homeschooling or on being a mom. I didn’t share any recipes. I did nothing. Nothing.
Drat this demon!
So it is with this that I have now reset myself.
While I still desire to publish my novels, slowing down and getting back to actually using my craft for something other than promotion (marketing–the death of me I swear), is exactly what I need to do.
I know this now, and now it’s time to put that plan into place.
Once again, I’ve taken a step back from social media (with the exception of this blog, and the blogs I follow, which I’m going to focus more time on, and I’m turning all my attention to this website and my next project—a book that I’m really looking forward to because it’s unlike anything that I’ve done before. To heck with the unsupportive people, to heck with feeling like I never have time for anything other than marketing, to heck with anything that takes me away from that “newbie” feeling I had before my debut novel was published.
I’m getting back to my roots.
So darling followers, have you ever needed to “reset yourself”? How did you do it? And did you find that it helped?
angelachristinaarcher.com 
Yes! This has been me for the past four weeks now! I feel like not only do I need to reset myself, I need to add a few new features.
Writing has been hard for me because I hit a roadblock in one of my major stories and have been trying to ease around it. In the meantime, I haven’t been working on my other stories because my job has been stressing me out. I dislike it so much and I’m miserable. Not only does the work suck, the people suck there too. Sadly, I need to realize this is just part of life and jobs are going to suck.
I’ve always done the compare numbers game. Basically, I’m all around unhappy.
Well, so, this wasn’t supposed to be a rant comment, but I wanted to let you know I understand your feelings. Don’t give up on your passion, but please take some time for you and get back to what you love =)
Lol. A few new features. I love it. Oh boy, I have been there with a sucky job and co-workers. I’ve been there. I worked for a woman who told us on her first day that we could call her Princess if we wanted. It was at that moment I knew we weren’t going to get along. I always was the odd woman out in that whole group and it wasn’t a surprise when my position was written out of the budget. In the end, it’s gotten me to where I’m at today, so I’m not bitter about it anymore. Sorry you are having to go through it.
Hmm, reset myself. I never thought of it that way. I get really down about the one (ok 2) books I have that don’t sell. Some days I don’t write at all because of it. I know I should have a dozen books out by now, but between lack of confidence and health issues, it’s not going to happen any time soon. I was spending 8 hours a week at the chiropractor. Yes 8 hours! Thankfully, those hours have cut back for the time being, but they may amp up again if I decide to start a new procedure for this pain I’m in.
Having said that, my second novel is sloooow going. For the reasons mentioned above, but also because it’s super difficult to write. I may consult you one of these days.
I have cut back on my time on social media, too. I’ll be spending most of my (free) time writing or blogging. Glad to hear you’ve reset yourself. Your novels are so well done. You work hard at it and it shows.
Books take time. Try not to beat yourself up too much with the number you have on the market. I probably rushed a couple of mine and I should have given them another couple of months. I’m slowing down to a book a year, but this new one I’m working on is going to be probably near double the words, so if it takes me longer then so be it. I’m not going to rush. Sometimes life just gets in the way, and that’s okay.
Do you know what’s causing your pain?
Thank you for the writing support, A.
Yes, I have plantar fasciitis and can’t even exercise on this diet. My feet are excruciating to even just stand on some days (can’t walk barefoot and need to wear flip-flops in the shower). I’ve had it for about 15 months now. I also have arthritis in most of my joints, but the worst pain was in my neck. Thankfully in that case, the treatments at the chiropractor brought all of that pain to a minimum. I’m mostly dealing with the plantar pain now.
I had a mild case of it when I was pregnant and wearing flats for comfort. I had it a good six months after too. It was awful, and thankfully, went away. Hopefully, yours does too.
Great post, Angela, and I think you have a great deal of company. It’s so easy to burn out in this business, especially if you’re a self-publishing author. But taking a step back and resetting yourself is a wonderful solution. I’ve had to do it as an editor, too—stepping away from social media, even for just a few days so I can focus on other things, has worked wonders when I’ve needed to do that.
I’m slowly realizing that “burned out” is an understatement, and it wasn’t just with the writing, but with a lot of things. Because I wasn’t writing, I started working out like 2.5 hours a day. I thought I loved it, but really I was just keeping myself distracted from not writing. By the third week my body was beat up. I mean b.e.a.t. u.p. This last month since my latest release has just been a mess for me. Lol. I’m slowly climbing out, but holy cow, it sure packed a punch and walloped me good.
I just wanted to say, I have finally finished that “other” book and I have started on your books. Wow Wow Wow! You are an excellent author. Your stories pull me in deeply and I go on the adventure with you and your characters. You may need a reset for you and that is totally understandable, however, if you were to ever stop writing, the world would feel the absence! Kudos to an excellent author!
Awe, thank you so much Janice! You made my day. Which one did you start?