Recently, I got into a discussion with a writer friend about if writing novels was worth the effort.
Surely, it is when you consider you’re doing something your passionate about. A lot of writers say if they couldn’t write, they’d lose their outlet. It’s a wall that we can throw out in front of us, shutting out the world while we dive into ones we create. It’s the drug we need to keep us sane. It’s the very breath that give us life.
We push ourselves to push our minds to levels we often wonder if we can reach. We struggle, and yet, we rise to the challenge we place upon ourselves. We create, we bond, we dive into situations that most wouldn’t dive into. We use our imagination, sometimes to the point of a mind-numbing madness that non-writers would think insane.
We build our ice castles up the North Mountain and then stand back while others enjoy our handiwork.
With all that said, however, this wasn’t what my friend meant by questioning the worth of our efforts.
You see, her family and friends, who she thought would be her biggest supporters, aren’t. They don’t really share her book release posts or participate in her release parties. While a handful of them do read her novels, most of them don’t, and the ones that do, rarely leave a review for her.
They really don’t do much at all.
As she sat across the table from me, I could see the tears she fought.
While most authors write for themselves, there are a few that that write for readers. Of course, even the ones who do it for themselves, like the fact that they entertain others. If we didn’t, we would write our stories and never publish them.
We may write for us, but we love spreading it out to the world.
Well, I supposed I can’t speak for everyone, but that’s how I feel, and that is how my friend feels. So you can imagine her disappointment when the her own flesh and blood or people she’s known her whole life lack support for her.
“I receive more praise from people who don’t even know me,” she cries. “I just don’t understand it. It makes me want to walk away from them all. I mean, I have over seven hundred friends on Facebook and I’ve sold ten novels. Ten. Out of at least four hundred women family and friends on my social media! I see some ask about good books to read, and it’s like they are reading everything under the sun, but mine. They are supporting authors they don’t even know, and yet, can’t give one they do know, the time of day.”
So what’s an author to do with that? What’s this girl to do with that?
Because her family aren’t the only readers in the world. Because their lack of support doesn’t reflect on her, it reflects on them. Because this is her life, her career, and her future. Because she loves to write.
Just like everything in life, there are times when a writer needs to let things go. Bad reviews, unsupportive family and friends, writers block, writers doubt, rejection letters—just let it go.
Don’t think about it. Don’t let it affect you. Don’t let it get you down. Don’t let it stop you from continuing your dreams.
And don’t let it define you.
Because it doesn’t.
It defines them.
7 thoughts on “Lack of support? Just let it go . . . #writing #amwriting #author #romance #fantasy #paranormal”
I love the forzen gifs by the way 🙂 I read a lot of times that family and friends may not really support us. The best support comes from fellow writers and readers. I firmly believe that. I hope your friend feels better. 🙂
She does now, but still has moments. It’s especially hard when she sees them post praise about books they’ve read. She knows they’ve read hers, but they don’t share that. *Sigh
Wow. I can relate. My novel (the on I’m learning how to self-publish), though fiction, is based on things that went on in my life. I’ve been worried that family will be upset when they read it. But, then I realized, they won’t even read it. They never do.
BTW, it’s okay your friend felt this way. It’s natural. It’s good that she has a friend in you to be able to express those feelings. I think she needs (all of us authors need) to feel it as it comes, then let it go and NOT let it stop us. We must move forward.
Thank you for the pep talk. 🙂
Even if they do read it, there is a good chance they won’t “get it”. People aren’t very quick to see their own faults. They can sure point them out in others, but looking in the mirror of judgment rarely happens. Luckily, strangers you meet will help make the process easier.
You’re probably right.
Fantastic post, Angela! I can totally relate to your friend and felt the same way for a long time. I’m glad she has someone like you to encourage and support her. I have to say, it still hurts even now, but it’s getting better.
I’ve had my share of the same feelings. Ten times over. I guess that’s just another part of this business. Lol. I have to say that I wonder what would happen if our careers suddenly took off. What would happen then? Would they start flocking toward us, pretending to be our BFF’s this whole time?