Life as a Mom

A Love/Hate Relationship with #Facebook #mommyblogger #writing #momslife #amwriting

Meg-Ryan-Frustrated-GRR-Reaction-GifHave you ever woken up one morning with the guilt of something that happened on Facebook the night before hanging over your head?

Perhaps, you posted a bunch of stupid stuff, thinking you were cool, or perhaps, if you are like me, and you got into a rather heated debate with someone who you shouldn’t have.

It doesn’t happen often with me. In fact, 99% of the time, I don’t post opinionated posts on my page or get into debates with people about anything. I keep things light, funny, and witty as much as I can, as I’ve learned not to bite on anything political or religious. It’s not that I don’t have opinions. Believe me, I do. I’m almost full German and a Taurus, which equals a stubborn, opinionated woman who has no problem putting someone in their place if I choose to do. However, I know how much I can dig my horns in and that’s not really a side I like to show people.

With that said, though, every now and then, like when the moon is full or I lose my mind, I snap. Something triggers me. My fingers just wildly begin to tap on my computer keyboard.

And, BOOM. I explode on someone.giphy

While I try not to stoop to the level of name calling, sometimes one will slip through. I usually edit it out later, but once it’s read, it’s out there, I can’t delete it from the persons eyes. I can only delete it on the screen. And, it’s then that I’ve done it.

As Tom Hanks’s character Joe Fox would say in You’ve got mail, “Do you every feel you’ve become the worse version of yourself? That a Pandora’s box of all the secret, hateful parts—your arrogance, your spite, your condescension—has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them. Hello, it’s Mr. Nasty.”

Sometimes I regret the things I say and sometimes I don’t. I mean, if I’ve come at them guns blazing, then it’s something I am deeply passionate about and something I deeply feel they are wrong about. I wouldn’t snap if I thought they had any clue on the subject matter.

But, while I might not regret what I said, I definitely regret how I acted or reacted. I don’t like to snap on people. I don’t like to be Mr. Nasty. It’s not ladylike and it’s, certainly, not Christian like. Even if we are allowed moments of fighting back for the sake of our life or protection for our beliefs.

tumblr_mndls3de2s1rsq3ibo3_250Of course, I’m not ignorant enough to believe friends, or even strangers, don’t argue. People argue every day about everything under the sun.

However, I’ve noticed a new trend. Whether its blogs or any form of social media, having a computer screen in front of people instead of looking at another person face to face, provides an unapologetically, comfortable ability to lash out and not care.

Anymore these days, all I see is people not treating each other with respect or kindness—especially, when they have a computer screen in front of them. Cyber bullying has gotten completely out of control and instead of healthy debates where people can walk away smiling, people are receiving death threats just for having a different belief.

Which is why I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. To me, Facebook has become that Pandora’s box. Full of every different aspect of a person’s character, good and ugly—the political, the conservative, the liberal, the religious, the non-religious, the hate, the love, the racial, the entitlement, the stupidity, and the drama.

Oh my, THE DRAMA!

Facebook is a great tool for good, but it’s a great weapon for evil. It’s a place for keeping in touch with family and friends, as well as for marketing and promotion. With that, though, it is also a place where millions of different people with different political or religious views have all converged with intent to force their opinion on others.

And, it’s there that I have found that I just really need a break from the social media giant. In the past several days, I’ve posted one post in the morning, checked for any IM messages, and have wished the birthday people a happy birthday. Other than that, I’m done with Facebook. And, I’ll remain done for a while.

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7 thoughts on “A Love/Hate Relationship with #Facebook #mommyblogger #writing #momslife #amwriting

  1. Angela, every time I read something from you, I feel a kindred spirit. I’ve known for a while now that both you and I are politically informed and aligned. Now, in addition to that, this blog post expresses my exact emotions and behavior about being opinionated but keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes I just can’t hold back anymore, but like you, I don’t want to react in a way that I find unbecoming of myself. I ask myself, why do I feel like the bad guy when I speak up, but the other party somehow things they are innocent?

    It’s for this reason that I’ve been considering starting a new blog under a pseudonym for people who want to share their opinions but feel stifled. Unfortunately, we have some difficult things going on since we moved, and I can’t do it right now. Aside from a bunch of bad luck things happening (too much to write), now we have to head back to Florida because my father-in-law is on his last days.

    As far as facebook goes, you and I are again, aligned on most of it. The only thing I might disagree with is the part about using it to keep in touch with family and friends. I unfriended all of my family, because I found it cold and unfeeling. We never spoke anymore. I wanted in- person contact, hugs or voices if far away. I check in on facebook once a day, briefly (where I found this blog post). If I have something to say, I post it, if not, I just read a few things and get off.

    Thank you for sharing your feelings here. I don’t feel so alone.

    1. “why do I feel like the bad guy when I speak up, but the other party somehow things they are innocent?” I so agree with this. And, you know, we both really shouldn’t feel we are in the wrong. I, too, have considered a opinionated blog under a different name that isn’t linked to me, but I just haven’t done it. Sometimes, I write up posts, but then just delete them. I have to say, that while I feel better after I’ve written them, writing them brings out even more anger, and that’s not healthy either. Most of my family is warm and friendly. I have had recent issues with a few cousins kids, that I finally had to unfriend them over. I’ve had a few friends that I’ve had to unfollow, too, so I don’t see their stuff. I have to say, that only going on once a day has been great. And, it’s given me more time to do other stuff. Sorry to hear about your FIL. Have a safe trip to FL.

      1. I get frustrated, because it seems like only one side is allowed to say their opinion … the one in charge. The other side is not supposed to have free speech. I feel like we’re being told to sit down and shut up otherwise your reputation will be tarnished. I’m the kind of person who does the opposite of what someone demands that I do. Which isn’t always good. I do see what you mean about feeling worse even after you write things out. I wish I knew the answer, but I’m very worried about our world right now. Thanks for this discussion, Angela.

      2. And, it’s there you’ve hit the nail on my head. The main reason I don’t do opinion posts or get into debates. I don’t need people lashing out with bad reviews on my novels just out of spite. And, yes, I believe people are totally capable of that.

      3. You’re right, that is likely to happen, and why I want to do an opinion blog under a pseudonym. I have it all planned out in my head, but don’t know if or when I’ll get it off the ground. I would allow submissions from anyone who was willing to do articles and stay on the issues without people bashing. I would highly monitor. Anyway, those are my thoughts on it. If you ever feel you need to get something off your chest on this topic, you’re welcome to email me.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Alissia!! I hope you enjoyed looking around. 🙂 I love the movie, too. I would love to own a little book store like Shop Around the Corner. It’s such a beautiful little shop. And, it was such a perfect fit for the topic.

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