Life as a Mom

In a perfect world… #momslife #mommy #mommyblogger #writing #amwriting

my job, my career, my income brought into my family would be from my writing.

I would start every morning off in my robe, with a cup of coffee, and with my laptop and end the day probably still in my robe or at least comfortable clothes I wear around the house and my laptop. Certainly, I would make breakfast for myself and the kidlet (come October kidlets), make lunch, tackle laundry, dishes, the house cleaning, maybe play a few hours outside (weather permitting), but the majority of the day I would be blissfully writing. Whether it be my blog, my manuscript, working on submissions, or, if I’m dreaming here, the edits my Editor sent for me to revise before publication.

I wouldn’t have to drive into the city in the morning or drive home in the evening battling traffic. I wouldn’t have to answer the phone and deal with people angry over the fact that I want their money. I mean, I know no one likes to be reminded about their bills, but come on they are your bills. You made them and it’s your responsibility to now pay them. I wouldn’t have to ask for a day or afternoon off to spend time with my family or go to an appointment. I wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not a President or CEO questioned my effectiveness. And, I wouldn’t have to deal with draining day in and day out problems.

But above all of that, I wouldn’t have to leave my daughter in the care of a day-care facility. I wouldn’t have to miss milestones like crawling, walking, and first words. I wouldn’t get colored pictures at the end of the day that make me go to bed in tears knowing that I’m missing my kids childhood because of a job. And I wouldn’t be surrounded with friends who get to stay at home with their kids while I don’t. Don’t get me wrong, the fault in feeling jealous of them is with me. None of my friends have ever purposely made me feel bad about having to work.

The subject of working and staying at home has been a bit of a touchy subject with me lately. I blame the hormones. I don’t believe that a debate over working mom and stay a home mom should exist, though. Instead of bashing each other for our choice (or lack of the ability of a choice) we should support one another and understand one another. Both a dear friend and I are facing the issue after our six-week maternity leave is over, putting our itty-bittys in day-care. The thought makes my skin crawl. I already hate leaving my daughter every morning with her sad face and “I will miss you” words, and I don’t even want to think about what it’s going to be like to drop off and leave an infant with someone else. Unfortunately, leaving two kids in day-care is a dread I will have to face. Living on one income just isn’t an option for my family no matter how badly I wish it was.

I love my job and I work for an amazing boss and company. Still though, it’s just not home with my kid, it’s still working for someone elses benefit, and it’s just not my dream. Perhaps one day I will live my dream. How soon, I don’t know. I know I wish it was as soon as tomorrow, but I know that is unrealistic. So for now I will grit my teeth and drive to work in the mornings and make my evenings at home count as much as possible.

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7 thoughts on “In a perfect world… #momslife #mommy #mommyblogger #writing #amwriting

  1. Dear Angela, my heart goes out to you. I remember after two miscarriages, watching friends hold babies the same age that mine would have been. I didn’t begrudge their happiness–not at all. But it was hard not knowing if or when I might have that too. I wish with all my heart that you will live your dream, and may it come sooner than you think.

    1. Thanks, Naomi. It sucks. But instead of feeling sorry for myself I have to pick myself up and know that I’m still a good mother. Maybe things will change. I don’t know. All I can do is hope and when the time finally comes enjoy the heck out of it. 🙂 Sorry for your lost angels, I can’t imagine the pain you had to bare.

      1. I just look at the two angels I have, and love them all the more. A good mom does what she has to provide a roof for her kids and food on the table, Angela. It sounds like you are giving them much, much more than that! Best wishes. Give your little angel a hug for me.

  2. How hard it must be to leave your child everyday! I can’t even imagine. I struggle to leave my dog. (Sad–I know.)

    I, also, want to thank you for the sweet and supportive comment you left on my blog. You made my day with praise I likely don’t deserve. But it thrilled me, anyway. Thank you! Hope you’ll stop back by some time soon!

    Hugs,
    Kathy

  3. I re-read but don’t see anything about miscarrying. I replied jovially to getting paid for novel-writing, in robes. Sorry for missing the wistful note! I see you have a toddler in daycare and expect a baby. I understand you want them more but please don’t say ‘missing their childhood’ aww! You’re with them dailyand kids act for strangers differently than for you. Reduce hours if you can. Lower income (we struggle on 1) IS a choice if it gets too bad. I chose peace of mind over income long ago, cut corners where I can. *hugs* Society might call 2 cars & cell phones ‘normal’ but we don’t have to go in for that.

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